Most people think of male and female when you talk about yin and yang but the meaning goes much deeper and is much more fluent than this.
For me the yin and yang that I feel today is the satisfaction and the dissatisfaction in my life. I feel these in union not as opposing energies but as the same driving force.
You see there are many things that I am really happy with. I don’t want to use the world grateful here as that almost seems like I should be grateful to someone or some unseen energy; which I’m not. I have worked, hard for the happiness that I have in my life.
There are equally areas in my life that feel uncomfortable; too tight a fit, not quite right and in need of adjustment. These areas of discomfort used to bother me, like a stone in my shoes I would be aware of them and feel that I needed to be rid of them.
I don’t feel that way about them any more though. I see them instead as an opportunity to grow, as a chance to reveal new and exciting layers in myself and for me to continue to develop.
They no longer feel like something I need to get rid of or something that I should feel ashamed to be carrying. Instead I see them like a gift because they give me a map of where I want to go to. They are the flag poles in my path that allow me to sense where it is I am going and where it is that I want to go.
This transition is a new one because I have the pot equally balanced. There are now as many things that I am happy and proud of as there are things that I know I still want to achieve. At a time when there seemed like nothing but things to shoot for and nothing that I was happy with; that was when the yin and yang went against me and there wasn’t that harmony and unity.
It’s taken something like ten years. For me to really scratch the itch inside of me. Ten years ago when I started sensing that there as more to life and that I could achieve it. Ten years of wondering how to get to that point and going through a thousand life changes to get there.
It feels both empowering and exciting because I can now see the wood for the trees and know that there is so much more to come but that the challenges now will be more enjoyable and peaceful somehow.
I don’t know if it seems like a long time or a short time because it seems like both to me. I do know that there are many more years of discovery and of using this balance of good and bad, negative and positive. We are never one thing; not ever. So for me the yin and yang inside me is just fine and finally petty neat and tidy.